HTI Housing Transitions Incorporated

I had a lot of things to try and cope with however things were about to go from bad to an absolute nightmare in the eyes of the public. I had just managed to fulfill the last of the stereotypes of having mental illness. For the first time in my life at age 29 I became homeless. I had to escape an abusive relationship and the only way I saw out was to become homeless, give up all the comforts I’ve grown accustomed to. I quickly came under the scrutiny of my peers for not adhering to the society bandwagon approach to life. I started to feel even more isolated, depressed and anxious. In this huge world I felt like I was being swallowed up like I didn’t exist. Being homeless left me feeling alone and lost.

When people find out about you being homeless they have a way of looking through you instead of at you. I started to worry that I wouldn’t be able to keep my job without having someplace to shower. Not only do you not get truly clean when washing off in a public bathroom in a local store, no matter what time of day it is you just don’t have any privacy. When someone walks in while you are attempting to wash off, it makes you feel like disappearing into thin air. I don’t know which is worse, when people would stare or when they quickly turned around and left. I simply needed to find a place and find it now. It’s a disheartening feeling to not know where you are going to live.

I was very blessed and there was an opening at the local shelter. I went there and was accepted. I had three personal roommates and became one of fifteen people living in one house, Centre House, the homeless shelter. The greatest thing I learned from being homeless is that no one really wishes it upon themselves. It just happens. Homeless people are not all addicts or people too lazy to work. Most of the other residents did not have a mental illness, either. Due to unemployment and record foreclosures, more Americans are becoming homeless.

The staff at Centre House was there for me like a mother would be. They helped me so much and were always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen and give advice. The staff saw me through one short hospitalization to deal with some of the depression. They helped to keep me motivated not only in finding a place for myself, but with all the other challenges that are part of living with bipolar disorder. The staff made me feel like the luckiest person in the world, simply by letting me know I had people around me who truly cared.

I spent six months living in Centre House and although I had a lot of work to do, I was able to grow and gain positive experiences even while the outside world deemed my life a wreck. I even managed to receive a promotion at work. For the first time I realized that I had many people around me who cared about me. I have been ungrateful at times in my life, but living in the shelter let me see that I have so much more than just a new car or a lot of money. I could be cared about and I stayed in a place with people that obviously did care about me. My experience there was more enlightening than anything.

I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. You may see my outdated clothes, the shyness, my lack of friends, but I am immaculate on the inside. If my inner spirit could be made visible instead of my outer shell, you would see what hope and perseverance look like and you would see the color of faith.

Andrew Maquire, Vice President,
HTI Board of Directors

HTI is an organization I have always admired as an invaluable resource in our area that has provided support to thousands of community members seeking help. I became aware of HTI’s Centre House shelter when I was a college student and had several friends that worked there as overnight staff members. I’ll be honest that I was surprised to find out there was a need for a shelter in this rural community in central Pennsylvania, a stark contrast to the suburb in New Jersey where I grew up.

When I moved back to State College 10 years later with my wife and children, HTI took a more prominent role in my life. As a husband and father, I recognized the vulnerability of being one paycheck away from not being able to keep up. We were now five hours from our closest relative, but the idea that there was an organization like HTI provided great comfort. So when I was asked to join to board of HTI after moving back into town, I immediately said yes. I believe in a community of help where we all look after and support each other; when the community seeks your help you respond.

But the truth is I wasn’t really sure what my role would be on the board and I spent my first year pondering whether I was earnestly contributing to this organization. However, when the need to renovate and expand the current shelter became apparent a few years ago, I realized my background in engineering and project management was a valuable resource and I volunteered to chair the Building Committee. As a committee, we oversee the design and construction process for the shelter.

I believe that we all strive for purpose and to try to make the community a better place.  There are no borders that define the community; it is defined by our everyday interactions, by where we live, by what we listen to and read, and by how we react when we are asked for help. We often don’t realize how important a cause is to us until we respond to a request and get personally involved. I know that I find meaning with my involvement with HTI and I know that I am supporting the success of the community.